Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Top 5 Movie Breasts

"Bob had bitch tits"
Here are the finest five of them all.

5) Shannon Elizabeth in American Pie (1999)
Sweet Jesus, they are enormous. I mean these jugs are colossal. Think about it, a foreign student with hooters this gargantuan, naked in your room reading magazines about other girls with huge Bon-bons. Big and round, and at the same time charming and fascinating. Splendid udders too, surrounded by massive milkmeat, these not-so-grassy knolls make you understand Jason Biggs misfortune.


4) Denise Richards in Wild Things (1998)
Dirty, dirty girl. Her hooters are so grand and incredible, they give you the goosebumps. And when you add another female and the water element on them, these objects-of-my-desire become ravishing. Some may call them just nice. NO, you're wrong, Denise's East and West Cleavage is more than extraordinary, it's perfection. They should sell these melons in the market.


3) Halle Berry in Swordfish (2001)
What better than reading a book topless, boobies changing the pages and everything? Her breasts are astonishing and flawless. Bloomings like that shouldn't be allowed on screen, cause their exceptional shape are distacting you from the plot. Petite yet grandiose, these knockers are just beautiful. Her bazookas are probably the most alluring and enchanting chesticles of the big screen.

2) Demi Moore in Striptease (1996)
You can't but admire her tig ol' bitties. These two lactators are awe-inspiring and seductive. Her tities are so magnificent, stunning and exceptional that bring tears in your eyes. Whack-material for the whole generation of the late 90s, Demi's beguiling weasels-of-the-chest should be exhibited in museums as part of Movie Culture. So, respect not only her fabulous cleavage cans, but also Ashton Kutcher who gets to enjoy these torpedoes.


1) Salma Hayek in Frida (2002)
Monumental, stupendous, walloping, astounding, phenomenal mammaries. So marvellous, these dirty pillows should be named the 8th wonder of the world. If you ever wonder of what material dreams are made of, this is it. Orbicular and firm, noble and respectful, these eye magnets make you believe in God. Honestly, we should start a cult and worship Salma's endowment, they 're that divine.

Contenders
Heather Grahams' happy sacs in Killing me Softly and Boogie Nights, Chloe Sevigny's sweater cows in Brown Bunny and Boys Don't Cry, Angelina Jolie's crease creatures in Gia and Taking Lives, Keira Knightley's infant eateries in The Hole, Belluci's scapula scones in Irreversible, Diane Lane's dodongoes in Unfaithful, Anne Hathaway's jigglies in Brokeback Mountain, Penelope Cruz's clavicle clumps in Vanilla Sky, Sharon Stones' fun bags in Basic Instinct, Asia Argento's flesh convexities in Scarlet Diva, Amy Smart's effeminite masses in Road Trip, Katie Holmes' deltoid drawers in The Gift, Rosario Dawson's conjoined humpbacks in Alexander, Jennifer Connelly's porcelain hills in too many to mention, Naomi Watts' gibbosities in 21 Grams and Mulholland Dr, Rebecca Romijn's suckling stops in Femme Fatale, Charlize Theron's lickable ladyparts in Two Days in the Valley and The Devil's Advocate, Nicole Kidman's tatas in Eyes Wide Shut, Kate Winslet's rack in most of her movies, Julianne Moore's globes in Boogie Nights, Meg Ryan's meat hills in In The Cut, Paz Vega's gazongas in Sex and Lucia, Elizabeth Berkley's headlight honkers in Showgirls, Linda Fiorentino's hillocks in The Last Seduction and Dina Meyer's monkey lumps in Starship Troopers. Also, honorable mention for Meat Loaf's gelatinous formations in Fight Club. That about covers it. Next, top 5 movie penis's. Just kiddin'...

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, incredible blog post...

smahman said...

Jamie Lee Curtis in "Trading Places"

Anonymous said...

You got it wrong the 3 boobed chick from total recall is #1

Anonymous said...

You got it wrong the 3 boobed chick from total recall is #1

Unknown said...

Smahman beat me to it. Jamie Lee Curtis in Trading Places has the greatest pair in movie history. For me she takes up the entire top 5 with those beauties.

Anonymous said...

How did Denise & Demi make this list? They have enough silicon in them to start a semi-conductor factory.

Anonymous said...

Phoebe Cates in "Fast Times..."

They're real, and they're FANTASTIC

Anonymous said...

Great list!
..but i think you forgot one very important and should be in the Top 5..

Patricia Arquette in Lost Highway.
for me are the best breasts ever.

Just look these three scenes:
-First sex scene with Bill Pullman in slow motion.
-Stripping with a gun in her head.
-Sex scene in the desert.

It's just incredible!


..

Anonymous said...

Sorry but Halle Berry's pancake chest just looks like shit.

Buy Kamagra said...

well...this a real "hard" decision, choose the best pair of breast, OK I keep with the Latin beauty Salma Hayek and the this sexy brunette Halle Berry.

Anonymous said...

I hadn't noticed finestfive.blogspot.com before in my searches!
great post,i will add ur blog to my bookmark!

Viagra Generico said...

The first are the best!!

seo said...

It can't really work, I suppose like this.

Anonymous said...

My personal favourite is Shannon Whirry in Private Obsession. Although she got them out in most of her films I think this one was the best. 100% real and definitely the best compared to Demi, Denise, Jamie or just about anyone else on this list.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Nope. You are all very wrong. Lisa Glaser in Humanoids from the Deep. Look it up and enjoy. Super sweet natural tits.

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