Friday, February 16, 2007

Top 5 Holy Crap! Moments

"Your mother's in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it."

Here are the finest five.

5) The Human Dog in Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
It's raining phlegms, hallelujah. Look what happens when aliens take over the world by cloning our bodies. Bearded elderly people in the shape of a pitbull start lickin' themselves with no shame whatsoever. The horror, the horror...

4) Horse on Bed in The Godfather (1972)
Wakey, wakey. What a beautiful morning this seems to be. As the camera zooms out, we watch in terror the stubborn gentleman's favorite horse's head among the blood covered sheets. Endless screaming follows, which proves you don't fuck with the Corleone family.

3) Surprise, surprise in The Crying Game (1992)
(Spoiler Alert) Oh Dil, what big hands you have. It's to wrap my arms around you more easily my dear. Oh, Dil , what big mentrual pads you have. It's just that I have a heavy flow, my dear. Oh, Dil, what big an Adam's apple you have. It's just the testosterone, my dear. Oh Dil, didn't you star in Stargate? See the signs, people!

2) Spinning Head in the Exorcist (1973)
Seems like the devil is such a show-off. I mean green puke, hovering above bed, and most of all, spinning head? Personally, I find the suckin'-phalluses-in-Hades curses more disturbing, but when little Linda's noggin starts doing the twist, it definitely ranks second in the holycrap!-meter.

1) Chest-Bursting Creature in Alien (1979)
Jon Hurt's Kane is awake, the extra terrestrial life form which almost killed him is now dead. So, what better way to celebrate life than a royal cholesterol feast. Wait, something is wrong, Kane is grabbing his chest. And then blood splatters all over the crew members, a teethy phallus springs out of his chest and hurries out of the room. Sci-fi will never be the same again.